Zero Theorem

Directed by:

Terry Gilliam

Starring:

Christophe Waltz

Melanie Thierry

David Thewlis

Lucas Hedges

Matt Damon

Starring the epic Christophe Waltz and the deliciously elegant Melanie Thierry and just a splash of MATT DAMON, Zero Theorem is exactly what you expect from a movie with a title like that; nerdy, melancholic and a little bit leftfield.

That Zero Theorem was directed by the man behind the mid 90s classic, mind-bending paradox Twelve Monkeys, will come as no surprise. We are taken to the most colourful outer reaches of our imaginations of the future, where our hopes and fears collide. Mix this with modern special effects and a liberal budget and we are presented with a dystopian world where everything is for sale and advertising is king. If that sounds like the world we live in now then get to a cinema near you now because this movie is just for you!

Simply put, the theme is mid-life crisis. Sure, this has been done a million times before but when mixed with the underlying themes of the inevitability of the end, the mortality of man and above all; sanity in an insane world. You are left to question; how is sanity measured, who has the right to measure it and is it indeed all relative?

All of this is represented in the most beautifully-designed sets since Tron Legacy gave us optical orgasms a plenty!

Of course, the film was able to learn from the hilarious mistakes of other futuristic movies; Back To The Future 2 claimed that cars would be flying by the year 2015! That’s next year. Although being the fun fest that Back To The Future was, it must be assumed that their predictions were uber tongue-in-cheek. Zero Theorem had the foresight to present us with a prospective world where everyone and their cat has an ipad, everyone drinks and everyone smokes…well…sort of...

There are no grand advances in technology for the human race which is perhaps the biggest victory of all for this movie. In this world, we are not more advanced, mere evolved and not necessarily in the right direction.

There is so much in this movie that you cannot understand, so many props that make no sense and by the time you have pestered your fellow cinema-goer for an explanation the movie has moved on to the next scene and you are presented with another plethora of visual confusion. But, instead of being annoyed and perplexed, this merely serves to increase your already elevated intrigue as you find solace and meaning in the characters. Perfect.

Usually in fabulous costumes, see Django Unchained or Inglorious Basterds, Waltz hits our screen completely hairless and not for the last time in this movie, completely naked too. Although as we discover, this nakedness is merely a vessel, designed to tell us that Waltz maintains a fresh-faced naivety throughout, a physical manifestation of the sense that he is not of this time nor longed for this world.

We are allowed to read every facial expression of Waltz as he shows us how ill-at-ease he is with the world around him. In fact, his surroundings are as alien to him as they are to us!

His thick German accent that he never seems to lose is played up to in movies, here it is another tool, portraying to us how different and odd he is in this world. Looking odd in a world like this, where every street and mundane task appears to border on perfect chaos, is what makes Waltz such a phenomenal actor. Yes, I said phenomenal!! Anyone who can play the evil Jew Hunter so well and then command so much sympathy in this movie demands respect and awards a plenty!

 

Leaving the movie, you are left to ponder the after taste. Over-thinking the most negative of inevitabilities can destroy you, unless you learn to block out, to accept human companionship and grow as a constructive member of society, things that all pragmatists and uber skeptics must face in their lives.

Rating: UUUUu

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rae7_O_6EtU

Transcendence

Directed by:

Wally Pfister

Starring:

Johnny Depp

Rebecca Hall

Cillian Murphy

Morgan Freeman

From the start we are told that this is a movie of thought, where philosophy replaces action, not that that's a bad thing but it sets the tone of little drama from the outset. This means that when the drama comes it’s authentic, surprising and its effect is magnified by the suspense.

The cusp and meat of this film occur in your own imagination. Your mind is encouraged to wander, to wonder and to second guess and you will be wrong, mark my words. The suspense we spoke of only serves to fuel the fires of curiosity

Never mind that the characters routinely test on animals or that they themselves play god, crossing all kind of moral boundaries you genuinely care about them, all of them, well most of them, but I shan’t spoil it!

This movie is one part AI, one part Twelve Monkeys, one part the more thought provoking moments of Terminator 2: Judgment Day and is topped off with a generous dollop of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Rebecca Hall, of The Town fame and love interest here, just has too many teeth in her head, trust me - it's true, it's damn true!

Morgan Freeman plays his usual character, ie: Morgan Freeman. By the way, he's really tall, like 6ft 2in. When did that happen?

Johnny Depp's character is admirable and he plays the part quite well which is worrying. He is far too Hugh Grant and not enough Edward Scissorhands in this role. But he remains the awkward quirky Brit for only a short time, eventually we get the brooding intelligent confident charismatic man those looks and talents should dictate. Eventually he transcends (get it?) into a shell of a man, somewhere between Jeff Goldbloom's Fly and Christian Bale's Dark Knight. High praise indeed...then again that’s hardly surprising given that Christopher Nolan produced!

This is a rare serious role from the modern Depp and one that sees him return to the dark mysterious roles that fit his personality and more specifically; don't call upon him to pretend he's a drunk pirate with a lot of eyeliner, for some reason. What's Eating Gilbert Grape? and Benny & Joon leap to mind throughout.

This movie is brave and breaks boundaries that high profile movies usually avoid. It questions the stages of grief that it is accepted that we shall experience or may be unfortunate to have gone through already. It also asks the most difficult of questions to face, when does one let go?

For that and posting the genre-old question of the moral implications of artificial intelligence, I commend Transcendence.

Rating: UUU

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCTen3-B8GU

The Amazing Spiderman 2

Directed by:

Marc Webb

Starring:

Andrew Garfield

Emma Stone

Jamie Foxx

Dane DeHaan

Paul Giamatti

The Amazing Spiderman 2 is unusual in that it is part of a remake of a recent series. And it’s not like the original wasn’t loved because it was, by many, although most fell away by the third and most ridiculous edition but I digress! You have to wonder what is the point of the Garfield series. But there is a point – it is so much better than the Maguire series in almost every conceivable way. Let’s face it, Maguire was terrible as Spiderman. He was probably the least cool superhero in history. I don’t want to say nerd as thanks to the likes of The Big Bang Theory being a nerd is cool now so I’m going to go with…dork! And then there was the love interest. Kirsten Dunst pulls off the girls next door look almost too well. Have you seen her eyes? Her small town eyes that look like they’re weeping buckets even when happy?

The Amazing Spiderman 2 on the other hand is darker – something the original was always afraid to be in case of alienating the younger viewer. Even when his hilariously named Uncle Ben died in the original you never felt sad, you just knew that things would be juuuus fiiiiine! In this movie however, the themes are more grown up. Parental abandonment, regret, international espionage, conspiracy theories, terrorism, even the huskiness of Peter’s dad’s voice is eerie. This is a Spiderman for the mature audience. 

This is where I must applaud the CGI. Spiderman actually looks like a man when doing hid web-slinging thing as opposed to Stretch Armstrong in a weird outfit as he has done. 

Garfield is also great as Spiderman. In fact, he’s so good at the role that he gets away with the comedy and the cheese which are usually about as welcome as a fart during foreplay. However, the level of cool he brings to the role means he gets away with it.

Emma Stone is also good as the love interest. A bit of a no-brainer for casting (she’s the Hollywood dawling of the minute). However, it’s a bit difficult to believe that she’s 20-years-old. I just don’t buy it. I mean, she’s not Saoirse Ronan!!

Alas teenage fans, you are not forgotten. The kind of pointless, angst-filled arguments only teenage couples have appear to restore some balance of silliness to the movie. Once again, this is not the Dark Knight, but what it is is a very good superhero movie. More comic than graphic novel and very entertaining. Filled with comedy, action, quality chase scenes and the usual unmitigated confusion at standard vigilantism, The Amazing Spiderman 2 is as good as superhero movies this side of melancholy can get.

One question: why do the good guys go through a sort of adolescence, the steepest of learning curves, full of hilarious mishaps, when it comes to discovering and learning how to use their powers? Yet the bad guys appear from nowhere with full mastery of their powers. Superman 4 anyone?!

I have just the 2 difficulties with this movie:

1 – The ending: it almost ruins the movie and the months of work these people put into making this movie

2 – Why is Peter Parker’s ringtone the theme tune to the original Spiderman cartoon? That reeeeeeeallly bothered me.

Oh and Jamie Fox is AWESOME!!!!

Rating: UUUU

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbp3Ra3Yp74

Divergent

Directed by:

Neil Burger

Starring:

Shailene Woodley

Theo James

Kate Winslet

The movie opens as a post-apocalyptic tale. The purgatoried greyness of everything is paralleled by the incessant vagueness of the back story, a vital element in all great movies of this genre – see The Book Of Eli, The Road, Mad Max etc. ‘’They’’, ‘’the founders’’, ‘’the war’'. The story is as vague as the post-war blurred skyline, this piques interest, this makes me want to see more. When the main character Beatrice utters the line “I’m supposed to never think to myself, to never look too long in the mirror”, this speaks to me as a sci-fi fan. I hear echoes of “The Island” in those words, I see images of “Equilibrium” running past my eyes. 

The film then takes a twist. In this beautifully crafted narrative we are told that children must choose their future based on whether they are smart, kind, honest, selfless or brave? The film is going well so far so we’ll ignore this ridiculous premise; it has earned it!

But it is here that the movie morphs and where my problem with the movie ultimately lies. We discover that all the men in this movie are one-dimensional, every single one. All the men in this movie fit into the categories of love interest, bully, coward or an annoying brother that just won’t listen. And then it hits you and it hits you hard. This is a chick flick.

Not that there anything wrong with that in itself. There is a place for chick flicks in this world but don’t insult my intelligence. Don’t hide behind the ideals of great post-apocalyptic science-fiction, lull me into a false sense of security and then kick me where it hurts! Sure, the message is solid and one we can all relate to; the idea that no matter what path you choose, you end up as just a conformed member of the working dead, the perpetual cult of doing and dressing like every other slave to the system you help to maintain. I get it. Just don’t pretend to be something you’re not.

I thought I was being facetious until I heard these lines from Beatrice:

“I don’t know who I am anymore”.

And who could forget this one?

“Let’s take it slow”.

A question: why are Beatrice and Kate Winslet the only people in the entire world who don’t have black hair. Actually, why are they the only two people in the world with perfect hair and make-up in a world without mirrors? I get the point of verisimilitude but spotting the goodie and the baddie shouldn’t be quite so easy!

Then there’s the fact that every single person in this movie is unbelievably attractive. Like everyone. The bad guys. The good guys. The dead guys.  The parents. Did the casting people go straight to the modelling agency and use the majority of the money on Kate Winslet and her mountains of make-up? That these things are so noticeable to me in a post-apocalyptic world ruins the suspension of disbelief and the movie for me.

This is a movie by a teenage girl, about teenage girls, for teenage girls. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just don’t be fooled like I was.

This is the best chick-flick ever.

Damning with faint praise indeed.

Rating: UUu

I Am Soldier

Directed by:
Ronnie Thompson

Starring:
Duncan Casey
Lee Charles
Noel Clarke

 

Fancy going to the movies? I think it’s important to advise that step one in deciding what to see is to avoid ‘’I Am Soldier’’ like a plague-ridden dung sandwich. Sure the plot is basic and the lack of budget and instantly recognisable actors makes the film an easy target but many companies have proved before that a combination of solid acting from unknown stars and a decent, logical plot can cover up fiscal inadequacies. ‘’28 Days Later’’ anyone? 

‘’I Am Soldier’’, directed by Ronnie Thompson and starring Tom Hughes as Ricky Tomlinson, has the strangest of plots. The movie sees Ricky trying to become one of the elite in the British army’s SAS, a tactical division that it is extremely hard to get into. In fact, the central theme of the film is the difficult training. Ignore the side-plots, ignore the budding friendships, the love story and the most awkward pint-drinking ever witnessed on the big screen: this movie is all about how difficult the training is.

Sound familiar? Make no mistake - this is a British take on the 1987 classic ‘’Full Metal Jacket’’.

But it is in the format and plot that the similarity shall end. Where ‘’Full Metal Jacket’’ is packed with intense acting, satirical self-depreciation and dark humour, ‘’I Am Soldier’’ relies on cringe-worthy one-liners, ham-acting and even the uber-basic plot completely deteriorates towards the end. Even the fantastic camera work, slick editing and excellent score cannot save this movie. 

Anyone who has seen the film it is trying to emulate can probably ramble off lines at will, such as the iconic:

‘’762 millimetre. Full metal jacket.’’

‘’I Am Soldier’’ on the other hand relies on that tool that is becoming more prevalent on the big screens these days - the stare -here the viewer must assume that what is not being said is what is being intended. While this works fantastically well in 2011’s ‘’Drive’’, this movie lacks the suspense needed for such a tool and as a result the film is filled with silence and cardboard acting that Keanu Reeves would be proud of.

If you want to see an intense movie about the trials of training for combat, I don’t need to tell you by now where to go. If you want to watch an 87 minute recruitment film for the SAS, then ‘’I Am Soldier’’ is just for you.

Rating: Uu